The Niqabi

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Ah yes, it's been nine months since I have worn the niqab and i find myself having mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I'm practicing modesty and men do not disrespect me. but on the other hand, being a niqabi is a battle of an American Muslimahs place in society and what is acceptable. Behind the veil, I find myself battling to do right in my deen, to actually practice my beliefs in public and not be a coward or a hypocrite. The things I used to I can do no longer, like talking to men openly. Futhermore, I must always ask my husbands permission on everything. Insha'Allah, I will do better in actions as well as words.

May Allah bring peace and blessings upon you,
Muslimah

Pilgrim embarks on 'life-long dream' - 25 Nov 09

Tomorrow is the end of hajj and i found this vid about a woman and her husband making the journey. Inshaallah, I'll be amongst them before I die.

Making sense of the Fort Hood tragedy

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

It has been a very devastating few days for the community of Ft. Hood, Texas. On November 5, Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan went on a shooting rampage, killing 13 people. A majority of his victims who are wounded are still in the hospital, their conditions ranging from stable to critical. According to published reports, Hasan was a military psychologist and the reason for his shooting rampage was that he was scheduled for deployment in Afghanistan and he couldn't take it any more. He was showing signs of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.

As I watched the events, I knew it was going to be open season on Muslims, specifically those who are serving in the military. Within 48 hours of the attack of Ft. Hood, the Council of American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) has had numerous threats and complaints on both their website and at their North Texas campus alone. Plus, countless islamic organizations like CAIR have come out to condemn Hasan's actions and saying that Islam never condones such violent and senseless acts .

However, there are bigger issues besides Hasan's religious beliefs. This attack exposes the millitary's lack of preparedness when it comes to soldiers suffering from PTSD. Hasan was showing countless signs that mentally as well as psychologically he was not ready to deploy for Afganistan. The Ft. Hood tragedy is only the list of disaters the US military can rack up in their failure to treat soldiers with PTSD. Another example is the Ft. Carson murders in which 14 soldiers have been convicted of murder since 2005; in all of these cases these solider were suffering from PTSD caused by their multiple tours of duty in Iraq and Afganistan. The bigger question is what is the military doing to help these soldiers. The answer to this what soldiers call the "cookie-cutter treatment" where they are given antidepressants after waiting hours for a 20 minute session with their doctor.

Even though PTSD does not excuse these soldiers actions, it does make me realize that the military is partly responsible for the downfall of these soldiers by not providing adquate counseling, support, and treatment. The military can say all they want they are working in the best intrest of their soldiers, but their actions are proving otherwise.

May Allah Bring Peace and Blessing

Muslimah

Going Through Changes

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

When I converted into Islam, i went into it with realistic expectations. I realized that I was going to go through trails and tribulations, that I wasn't always going to have good days and that not everybody was going to be perfect, including me. I also had to except that not everybody was going to understand that I wore hijab and niqab. Some people were going to act ignorant and decide to call me a terrorist to make themselves feel better. But I also found that if I had iman (faith) in Allah and applied the things i've learned, then my deen (belief) would be stronger and I would pass on what I did learn unto others.

So, I like to leave this blog with a quote that I find myself saying on a daily basis whenever, the times get hard and you feel like you cannot make it. Always remember this:

"Allah does not charge a man with more than He has given him; He will bring ease after hardship." Quran al-Talaq 65:7

May Allah bring you peace and blessings,
Muslimah

Something to think about…

As I write this blog, I sit and think about the things we devote ourselves to. As women and men, we look physically grown, but what about emotionally? When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an adult because I thought they got to have all the fun and got to stay up to stay up all night. I didn't understand that being grown meant doing things you never thought you had to do – whether it be paying bills or being a wife. Perhaps, I forgot that being grown also meant that as we want to leave the past behind us, we must face the never ending truth that at some point we will have forgiveness, but that does not exempt us from punishment.

This rings no truer than in marriage. On October 24, 2009 I made my marriage official with my husband-both Islamic-wise and legal-wise. Marriage is the ultimate test of maturity and adulthood because from day to day, you and your spouse have to deal with each other. Sex is as mandatory as conversation, children come into play and you find yourself realizing that marriage never has, nor will ever be, a fairy tale. Every now and again there will be fights and yes, you will get on each other's nerves. But in the long term, marriage is a commitment and an institution worth fighting for.

Regaining Focus

I'm sorry if I've been a little busy not to write on the blog lately. Insha'Allah, the updates will get more frequent on weekly basis. Lately, I have taken a self-assessment on how I've been doing since I became a Muslimah in May of this year. I realize that I have some work to do. But everyday, I find myself leaving with less stress and I'm at peace much more than I ever been. When I wear niqab and hijab, I find myself humbled and liberated, never oppressed. Futhermore, Allah has blessed me with a husband who makes me laugh and focus on strengthening my deen.

As Saalamu Allakium wa Ramatullah,

Muslimah

Funny thing about Shaytan

I was surfing on YouTube about shatan and I found one interesting video about how shaytan plays on a woman's hijab. On the left of the screen, there are some Youtube videos about how Shaytan play on people at their weakest.