Often as Muslims we tend to forget that sometimes the biggest challenges to our deen is not what we do when times our good but what we do when times are hard. It's almost been about two months since I posted an entry and it's not like I have not been trying. I have been struggling to put my posts in a way that is both helpful and strong, inshaallah.
The last post I put up was in May, so it's been about two months since I put up anything. So today I kept thinking about the story of ZamZam. It's more than a story about water. It's a story about how a woman named Hagar persevered when times got hard for the sake of Allah and for the sake of her newborn son, Ismail. The clip below is an excerpt about that faithful day.
As Salaamu alikum,
Ever since the age of 13, I have been battling depression and anxiety. I have always dealt with it without meds, in large part because I knew the side effects may make me worse than I already am. But lately, I'm finding that option is becoming harder and harder to do . Today and everyday I should be thankful to Allah that I'm alive, that I have a new husband and I'm in school. But there are some days that I get the blues and other days I get stressed out. And that's when things are going good. Lately, it seems that my anxiety and depression are getting harder to manage without resorting to medication and therapy. Before I was Muslim, it would be easy to go on the meds , go to therapy and be fine. However I have to look at this Islamicaly as well.
As always, depression and anxiety are tools that Satan uses to detract believers from following the deen and strengthening their iman. However, anxiety and depression are conditions that require appropriate management for these are life long conditions. What I am finding is that in the Islamic community, there is a seal of slilence and backlash going on when it comes to mental illnesses in general. This seal of silence and backlash is causing Muslimahs, Muslims and their families to suffer and in most cases choose not to get help, whetehr through medication, therapy, or even natural alternatives.
At First, i thought about getting a percription for antidepressants. I thought, one or two pills a day would make me happy and not feel gloomy. However, as this ad explains , the side effects will make you run for the hills.
Plus antidepressants are now coming with a warning that they increase the chances that you will kill yourself while under the medication. But to lighten it up, they say that the suicide risk only happens when teenagers and young adults are on the medication. Either way, I found it disturbing. I thought the purpose of meds was to make me feel better, not worse.
Inshallah, I will get better and find a way to be happy with out it being more detrimental to my health and my deen. May Allah help me find a way to navigate through my storms and do it with grace and honor. Amin.
One of the hardest thing a person- muslim or non muslim- has to go through is the death of a marriage. Marriage is one of the most beautiful insitutions in the world. When two people come together who are willing 2 grow and committ to each other for life, it can be a blissful union and children can thrive in that union. However, when all options have been exhausted and when it becomes painfully obvious that two people cannot work cohessively as one, divorce becomes the necessary evil that must be done.
People take the end of a marriage differently. Some have celebrations (divorce parties) where they either drink themselves to a stupor or bash their former spouse as if they had no good memories. Some go into full frontal obsession, afraid of or refusing 2 let go of a marriage that they've been in 4 so long. Neither one of these paths bring closure because it only masks the hurt.
I'm now accepting the fact that my marriage is over. It was not even salvageable. May Allah grant my ex healing in his heart and may he find his way back to fully practicing the deen correctly. I am realizing that my soul, my heart and my mind need healing as well. It means having to start over both in my deen and in my life. May Allah give me the ease.
I truly believe that failure is important in order for a person to succeed. If there are no failures in life, there will be no motivation for success. To be honest, I experienced my first dose of failure when failed my premath test in college. It was a reminder that if I was going to be truly successful in college, I was going to actually have to be realistic and put actual effort in my work to get an education. This culture is afraid to fail because it would force people to recognize and appreciate what they have. Our culture is raising a generation of children who think that life is an entitlement and not something you should work for. I do believe that the limited freedom to fail could affect our society and government because it breeds incompetent officials and tyranical rulers.
I am concerned that if the freedom to fail is not allowed, there will be no new inventions of products and new ways of thinking. There will be no one to step up to the challenges of our governments who treat us wrong, no new artists who create art work, and no protests on the streets. So how do we stop this ever growing trend towards laziness and elitism? It's as simple as getting your children actively involved in their school projects and not having the parents do the assignments. It is having a game in athletics where there is a clear winner and the loser shakes hands and learns to loose with humility, for both the winner and loser learn good sportsmanship. In the midist of trial and error when creating projects, it helps to know what your consumers really need. The freedom to fail also provides motivation for creativity and increases competncy for success. When we make these small changes, we can then have the absolute freedom to fail.
As salaamu alikum 2 all my fellow bloggers. It's been about a month since I posted any thing up and in a way that's a good thing . I needed 2 take a break from posting anything during Ramadan. So now that I'm back, I would like 2 put up some reflections that I have learned during Ramadan.
Fasting- this ramadan, I have improved on my fasting and learned to give myself some slack. Instead of doing cold turkey fasting, which I lasted only two weeks, I fasted every three days and fed the hungry when I could.
Reading Quran- I finally got a list of what the 30 parts (aka Juz) of the quran are and started reading them in order. I completed 29 of the 30 Juz of Quran.
First times - for the first time, I stayed for the night of power (I lasted til 1 am ) and I spent the last ten day in a masjid, reading quran and learning more islamic lessons along the way.
I survived Ramadan and did slightly better than I did last year, mashaallah. Until next Ramadan...
