I was checking out the Quran Weekly channel on YouTube when I was looking at this lecture by Omar Sulieman about grudges. This kutabah was so good I had to repeat it several times. One of the things I will never forget was this very powerful quote:
"Grudges are you drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
That is a very powerful quote and had me thinking about how I have handled things in regards to my situations in the past year. I was so blinded by trying to get back at those closest to me that have wronged me, that all the grudges I had only wound up making me bitter, while at the same time slowly destroying and killing my soul. Now I am slowly moving forward, trying to correct my ways inshallah.
There is nothing more saddening, desperate, and painful than a girl posting her video on YouTube asking the people this question: Am I Ugly? I do not get it; why go around asking complete strangers to validate your shallowness or confirm your insecurities? Why further lower your self-esteem and your value by letting people judge you when the final judgement comes from Allah? Why care about what other people think when the only thing a person should worry about is pleasing Allah?
I am just now learning that I do not need another person's approval and permission to be happy. Too many times when we give people the power to determine our worth and beauty, it winds up being used against us and eventually it winds up hurting us. Furthermore, it sets the tone for a lifetime of self hatred and taking that self hatred out on other people. Remember that hurt people hurt other people. I am truly concerned that the Internet has opened new doors for girls to expose themselves and to be exposed. Instead of posting these videos, I posted the video below to help girls learn what truly matters.
I was checking Twitter this morning and I found something disturbing from @muslimmatters Twitter feed. One of our fellow Muslimahs, Aisah Khan, is missing and the family needs your duas as well as information leading to her safe return, inshaallah.
Aisha Khan was last seen on Friday, December 16th on the University of Kansas campus. On the morning she went missing, she sent a text to her sister saying that she was being followed by a man who was drunk. When her sister went to the campus to pick her up, the sister found her Bookbag and her cell phone.
Aisha Khan is 19 years old, 5'2 inches tall, and weighs 120 lbs. She was last seen wearing a yellow and black shirt, black sweat pants and a black head scarf. She may have also been wearing glasses. She was wearing a black jacket beneath a longer black and white coat.
The Khan family is offering a $10,000 reward for anyone who knows any information as to the whereabouts of Aisha Khan. Anyone with information is asked to call the Kansas CrimeStoppers TIPS line at 816-474-TIPS (874-474-8477).
UPDATE: Since this post, Aisha Khan was found alive and well, alhamdulliah. She is back home safe with her family.
When
I took my shahadah two years ago, I remember one of the Muslim brothers leaving
me with a very valuable naseeha- that Islam is a perfect religion but it’s the
people who will try your faith. It is this that I have to remember when the trials and tribulations come-even those you never expect.
I
am now twice divorced- and seven months pregnant. It is very exciting time in my life because
Allah (swt) blessed me with a sacred gift that too many women take for granted –
motherhood. But being that it is excting time it is also a trying time for me
as well. I am in my second divorce and it’s painfully obvious that being on my
second divorce means that I have not learned anything from my first. And now
there is a baby girl involved who has to unintentionally pay for the choices
that have been made. One of biggest fears is playing out right before my very
eyes- that I will be a single mom. I fought so hard to keep things Islamic as
possible between me and her father, for the sake of Allah and to make sure our
daughter had her father around. Plus, I never wanted my daughter to experience
the pain that I went through of not having a father around. And that is what is
breaking my heart the most as a mom- that my daughter will not have her father
around because he refuses to acknowledge and take responsibility for his own
flesh and blood. I pray that my ex will see the errors of his choices, do what
is correct in Islam and take care of our daughter. Amin.
When
I think about the examples of single motherhood in Islam, two women stick out
in my mind -Hajar and Maryam (peace and blessings be upon them both). When her
husband Ibrahim had to leave Hajar in the desert with their son Ismai’l, Hajar
had to truly rely on Allah to provide them difficulty for their ease. She rode
back and forth seven times in between two rocks, trying to find water so she
can feed her infant son. After her seventh attempt, Hajar fell exhausted with Ishmai'l in her arms. While Ishmai'l was crying, he tapped his heel and water came out of the ground. And that's how Zamzam water came about.
As for Maryam, she had Isa (peace be upon them both) inspite of having to do it alone and having to endure labor without any pain medication.
May Allah guide me through this difficult time and help me find wisdom, understanding and blessing in it. Amin.
Often as Muslims we tend to forget that sometimes the biggest challenges to our deen is not what we do when times our good but what we do when times are hard. It's almost been about two months since I posted an entry and it's not like I have not been trying. I have been struggling to put my posts in a way that is both helpful and strong, inshaallah.
The last post I put up was in May, so it's been about two months since I put up anything. So today I kept thinking about the story of ZamZam. It's more than a story about water. It's a story about how a woman named Hagar persevered when times got hard for the sake of Allah and for the sake of her newborn son, Ismail. The clip below is an excerpt about that faithful day.
As Salaamu alikum,
Ever since the age of 13, I have been battling depression and anxiety. I have always dealt with it without meds, in large part because I knew the side effects may make me worse than I already am. But lately, I'm finding that option is becoming harder and harder to do . Today and everyday I should be thankful to Allah that I'm alive, that I have a new husband and I'm in school. But there are some days that I get the blues and other days I get stressed out. And that's when things are going good. Lately, it seems that my anxiety and depression are getting harder to manage without resorting to medication and therapy. Before I was Muslim, it would be easy to go on the meds , go to therapy and be fine. However I have to look at this Islamicaly as well.
As always, depression and anxiety are tools that Satan uses to detract believers from following the deen and strengthening their iman. However, anxiety and depression are conditions that require appropriate management for these are life long conditions. What I am finding is that in the Islamic community, there is a seal of slilence and backlash going on when it comes to mental illnesses in general. This seal of silence and backlash is causing Muslimahs, Muslims and their families to suffer and in most cases choose not to get help, whetehr through medication, therapy, or even natural alternatives.
At First, i thought about getting a percription for antidepressants. I thought, one or two pills a day would make me happy and not feel gloomy. However, as this ad explains , the side effects will make you run for the hills.
Plus antidepressants are now coming with a warning that they increase the chances that you will kill yourself while under the medication. But to lighten it up, they say that the suicide risk only happens when teenagers and young adults are on the medication. Either way, I found it disturbing. I thought the purpose of meds was to make me feel better, not worse.
Inshallah, I will get better and find a way to be happy with out it being more detrimental to my health and my deen. May Allah help me find a way to navigate through my storms and do it with grace and honor. Amin.
One of the hardest thing a person- muslim or non muslim- has to go through is the death of a marriage. Marriage is one of the most beautiful insitutions in the world. When two people come together who are willing 2 grow and committ to each other for life, it can be a blissful union and children can thrive in that union. However, when all options have been exhausted and when it becomes painfully obvious that two people cannot work cohessively as one, divorce becomes the necessary evil that must be done.
People take the end of a marriage differently. Some have celebrations (divorce parties) where they either drink themselves to a stupor or bash their former spouse as if they had no good memories. Some go into full frontal obsession, afraid of or refusing 2 let go of a marriage that they've been in 4 so long. Neither one of these paths bring closure because it only masks the hurt.
I'm now accepting the fact that my marriage is over. It was not even salvageable. May Allah grant my ex healing in his heart and may he find his way back to fully practicing the deen correctly. I am realizing that my soul, my heart and my mind need healing as well. It means having to start over both in my deen and in my life. May Allah give me the ease.
I truly believe that failure is important in order for a person to succeed. If there are no failures in life, there will be no motivation for success. To be honest, I experienced my first dose of failure when failed my premath test in college. It was a reminder that if I was going to be truly successful in college, I was going to actually have to be realistic and put actual effort in my work to get an education. This culture is afraid to fail because it would force people to recognize and appreciate what they have. Our culture is raising a generation of children who think that life is an entitlement and not something you should work for. I do believe that the limited freedom to fail could affect our society and government because it breeds incompetent officials and tyranical rulers.
I am concerned that if the freedom to fail is not allowed, there will be no new inventions of products and new ways of thinking. There will be no one to step up to the challenges of our governments who treat us wrong, no new artists who create art work, and no protests on the streets. So how do we stop this ever growing trend towards laziness and elitism? It's as simple as getting your children actively involved in their school projects and not having the parents do the assignments. It is having a game in athletics where there is a clear winner and the loser shakes hands and learns to loose with humility, for both the winner and loser learn good sportsmanship. In the midist of trial and error when creating projects, it helps to know what your consumers really need. The freedom to fail also provides motivation for creativity and increases competncy for success. When we make these small changes, we can then have the absolute freedom to fail.
As salaamu alikum 2 all my fellow bloggers. It's been about a month since I posted any thing up and in a way that's a good thing . I needed 2 take a break from posting anything during Ramadan. So now that I'm back, I would like 2 put up some reflections that I have learned during Ramadan.
Fasting- this ramadan, I have improved on my fasting and learned to give myself some slack. Instead of doing cold turkey fasting, which I lasted only two weeks, I fasted every three days and fed the hungry when I could.
Reading Quran- I finally got a list of what the 30 parts (aka Juz) of the quran are and started reading them in order. I completed 29 of the 30 Juz of Quran.
First times - for the first time, I stayed for the night of power (I lasted til 1 am ) and I spent the last ten day in a masjid, reading quran and learning more islamic lessons along the way.
I survived Ramadan and did slightly better than I did last year, mashaallah. Until next Ramadan...
This is a preview of the movie "Mooz-lum". The Director/ Writer Q is a muslim and is trying to get the movie in to U.S. theaters by the end of 2010 insha'allah. The cast includes both muslims and non muslims. Please make dua for the brother and may his film end up on the big screen.
Thank You for your article. Please write more about the Muslims who died in WTC. Believe or not this story is often largely ignored. As for Sarah Palin, I truly think if she gets another office seat, it will be disasterous for Americans as a whole. The whole purpose of a supremacy movement is to gain govermental control so they can enforce their ignorance and stupidity upon others with no one to stop them. Remember Adolf Hilter and the Nazi Party, who ran Germany until 1945 while sending 6 million people to their graves. Remember the Ku Klux Klan, who terroized the south and lynched blacks and jews. What did these two along with Ms. Palin have in common? They used religion,specifically Christanity along with fear to give white americans a reason to commit crimes and to be racist. Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
It seems that America's addition to fast food is quickly expanding our waistlines and sending us to an early grave. In the piece, it shows places like McDonald's offering salads, just because they offer salads does not necessarily guarantee that the salad is healthy either. Some of McDonald's dressings and salads have as much calories as their Big Macs and Cheeseburgers. Let's be honest, it's time to go back making our meals at home and knowing where our food is coming from. I'm liking and appreciating the local food movement as well as getting my meats from Halal butchers. Our country wants their lives and food done quick, fast and in a hurry.
Inshaallah, I prefer to eat my meals at home where they are made with love, honor, and conviction.
Inspired by Muhammad is a new website and ad campaign that was unleashed in Britain today by the Exploring Islam Foundation. I checked out the website and found it to be highly informative. The launch of this website was based on recent survey that the EIF did with the YouGov company with non-Muslims in Britain. Here's what the survey found:
60% believe that Islam oppresses women
58% associate Islam with terrorism
More than half of those surveyed thought Islam to be an extremist religion
57% percent of Britians get their information about Islam from television and news reports
Inshaallah, this campaign will help show that Islam is a peaceful religion that Muhammad (SWT) was a peaceful prophet.
Yesterday, I took one day off from Facebook as most Muslims did, because facebook allow a contest called draw Mohammed day. But some countries took it a step further. Pakistan interrupted both Facebook and Youtube service. Thousands of muslimahs and muslims took to the streets demanding that both websites be banned in their country for allowing the site to continue with this group. As of this posting, Facebook has since shut the group down and has kicked off the member who created it.
I checked FB today and found that very few Muslims have logged backed on to the website. Inshaallah, Facebook and Youtube will learn to think before they allow such groups to enter.
