As
Salaamu Alikum,
When
I took my shahadah two years ago, I remember one of the Muslim brothers leaving
me with a very valuable naseeha- that Islam is a perfect religion but it’s the
people who will try your faith. It is this that I have to remember when the trials and tribulations come-even those you never expect.
I
am now twice divorced- and seven months pregnant. It is very exciting time in my life because
Allah (swt) blessed me with a sacred gift that too many women take for granted –
motherhood. But being that it is excting time it is also a trying time for me
as well. I am in my second divorce and it’s painfully obvious that being on my
second divorce means that I have not learned anything from my first. And now
there is a baby girl involved who has to unintentionally pay for the choices
that have been made. One of biggest fears is playing out right before my very
eyes- that I will be a single mom. I fought so hard to keep things Islamic as
possible between me and her father, for the sake of Allah and to make sure our
daughter had her father around. Plus, I never wanted my daughter to experience
the pain that I went through of not having a father around. And that is what is
breaking my heart the most as a mom- that my daughter will not have her father
around because he refuses to acknowledge and take responsibility for his own
flesh and blood. I pray that my ex will see the errors of his choices, do what
is correct in Islam and take care of our daughter. Amin.
When
I think about the examples of single motherhood in Islam, two women stick out
in my mind -Hajar and Maryam (peace and blessings be upon them both). When her
husband Ibrahim had to leave Hajar in the desert with their son Ismai’l, Hajar
had to truly rely on Allah to provide them difficulty for their ease. She rode
back and forth seven times in between two rocks, trying to find water so she
can feed her infant son. After her seventh attempt, Hajar fell exhausted with Ishmai'l in her arms. While Ishmai'l was crying, he tapped his heel and water came out of the ground. And that's how Zamzam water came about.
As for Maryam, she had Isa (peace be upon them both) inspite of having to do it alone and having to endure labor without any pain medication.
May Allah guide me through this difficult time and help me find wisdom, understanding and blessing in it. Amin.
