I was checking out the Quran Weekly channel on YouTube when I was looking at this lecture by Omar Sulieman about grudges. This kutabah was so good I had to repeat it several times. One of the things I will never forget was this very powerful quote:
"Grudges are you drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
That is a very powerful quote and had me thinking about how I have handled things in regards to my situations in the past year. I was so blinded by trying to get back at those closest to me that have wronged me, that all the grudges I had only wound up making me bitter, while at the same time slowly destroying and killing my soul. Now I am slowly moving forward, trying to correct my ways inshallah.
There is nothing more saddening, desperate, and painful than a girl posting her video on YouTube asking the people this question: Am I Ugly? I do not get it; why go around asking complete strangers to validate your shallowness or confirm your insecurities? Why further lower your self-esteem and your value by letting people judge you when the final judgement comes from Allah? Why care about what other people think when the only thing a person should worry about is pleasing Allah?
I am just now learning that I do not need another person's approval and permission to be happy. Too many times when we give people the power to determine our worth and beauty, it winds up being used against us and eventually it winds up hurting us. Furthermore, it sets the tone for a lifetime of self hatred and taking that self hatred out on other people. Remember that hurt people hurt other people. I am truly concerned that the Internet has opened new doors for girls to expose themselves and to be exposed. Instead of posting these videos, I posted the video below to help girls learn what truly matters.
I was checking Twitter this morning and I found something disturbing from @muslimmatters Twitter feed. One of our fellow Muslimahs, Aisah Khan, is missing and the family needs your duas as well as information leading to her safe return, inshaallah.
Aisha Khan was last seen on Friday, December 16th on the University of Kansas campus. On the morning she went missing, she sent a text to her sister saying that she was being followed by a man who was drunk. When her sister went to the campus to pick her up, the sister found her Bookbag and her cell phone.
Aisha Khan is 19 years old, 5'2 inches tall, and weighs 120 lbs. She was last seen wearing a yellow and black shirt, black sweat pants and a black head scarf. She may have also been wearing glasses. She was wearing a black jacket beneath a longer black and white coat.
The Khan family is offering a $10,000 reward for anyone who knows any information as to the whereabouts of Aisha Khan. Anyone with information is asked to call the Kansas CrimeStoppers TIPS line at 816-474-TIPS (874-474-8477).
UPDATE: Since this post, Aisha Khan was found alive and well, alhamdulliah. She is back home safe with her family.
When
I took my shahadah two years ago, I remember one of the Muslim brothers leaving
me with a very valuable naseeha- that Islam is a perfect religion but it’s the
people who will try your faith. It is this that I have to remember when the trials and tribulations come-even those you never expect.
I
am now twice divorced- and seven months pregnant. It is very exciting time in my life because
Allah (swt) blessed me with a sacred gift that too many women take for granted –
motherhood. But being that it is excting time it is also a trying time for me
as well. I am in my second divorce and it’s painfully obvious that being on my
second divorce means that I have not learned anything from my first. And now
there is a baby girl involved who has to unintentionally pay for the choices
that have been made. One of biggest fears is playing out right before my very
eyes- that I will be a single mom. I fought so hard to keep things Islamic as
possible between me and her father, for the sake of Allah and to make sure our
daughter had her father around. Plus, I never wanted my daughter to experience
the pain that I went through of not having a father around. And that is what is
breaking my heart the most as a mom- that my daughter will not have her father
around because he refuses to acknowledge and take responsibility for his own
flesh and blood. I pray that my ex will see the errors of his choices, do what
is correct in Islam and take care of our daughter. Amin.
When
I think about the examples of single motherhood in Islam, two women stick out
in my mind -Hajar and Maryam (peace and blessings be upon them both). When her
husband Ibrahim had to leave Hajar in the desert with their son Ismai’l, Hajar
had to truly rely on Allah to provide them difficulty for their ease. She rode
back and forth seven times in between two rocks, trying to find water so she
can feed her infant son. After her seventh attempt, Hajar fell exhausted with Ishmai'l in her arms. While Ishmai'l was crying, he tapped his heel and water came out of the ground. And that's how Zamzam water came about.
As for Maryam, she had Isa (peace be upon them both) inspite of having to do it alone and having to endure labor without any pain medication.
May Allah guide me through this difficult time and help me find wisdom, understanding and blessing in it. Amin.
Often as Muslims we tend to forget that sometimes the biggest challenges to our deen is not what we do when times our good but what we do when times are hard. It's almost been about two months since I posted an entry and it's not like I have not been trying. I have been struggling to put my posts in a way that is both helpful and strong, inshaallah.
The last post I put up was in May, so it's been about two months since I put up anything. So today I kept thinking about the story of ZamZam. It's more than a story about water. It's a story about how a woman named Hagar persevered when times got hard for the sake of Allah and for the sake of her newborn son, Ismail. The clip below is an excerpt about that faithful day.
As Salaamu alikum,
Ever since the age of 13, I have been battling depression and anxiety. I have always dealt with it without meds, in large part because I knew the side effects may make me worse than I already am. But lately, I'm finding that option is becoming harder and harder to do . Today and everyday I should be thankful to Allah that I'm alive, that I have a new husband and I'm in school. But there are some days that I get the blues and other days I get stressed out. And that's when things are going good. Lately, it seems that my anxiety and depression are getting harder to manage without resorting to medication and therapy. Before I was Muslim, it would be easy to go on the meds , go to therapy and be fine. However I have to look at this Islamicaly as well.
As always, depression and anxiety are tools that Satan uses to detract believers from following the deen and strengthening their iman. However, anxiety and depression are conditions that require appropriate management for these are life long conditions. What I am finding is that in the Islamic community, there is a seal of slilence and backlash going on when it comes to mental illnesses in general. This seal of silence and backlash is causing Muslimahs, Muslims and their families to suffer and in most cases choose not to get help, whetehr through medication, therapy, or even natural alternatives.
At First, i thought about getting a percription for antidepressants. I thought, one or two pills a day would make me happy and not feel gloomy. However, as this ad explains , the side effects will make you run for the hills.
Plus antidepressants are now coming with a warning that they increase the chances that you will kill yourself while under the medication. But to lighten it up, they say that the suicide risk only happens when teenagers and young adults are on the medication. Either way, I found it disturbing. I thought the purpose of meds was to make me feel better, not worse.
Inshallah, I will get better and find a way to be happy with out it being more detrimental to my health and my deen. May Allah help me find a way to navigate through my storms and do it with grace and honor. Amin.
